'Til death do us Part (I)

*Hey bloggers, am grateful for the positive feedbacks and will do my best to update this blog at least every 2 days or something like that.

* Writing is my passion, and am def. working on it with just some random ramblings of my everyday thought. Lately I've been thinkin about marriage, cuz it seems to be whats on everyone's mind especially when you tell them you're more than 24. But for some reason am just letting go of thinking about it and going wherever the wind carries me.

'Til Death do us Part (1)

So luckily for me I got to attend a friend’s wedding over the weekend. I was enjoying everything up until the part where the priest said “If anyone has a reason why this two should not be together, please say something or forever hold your peace”, immediately I was overcome with the urge to say that the bride was in-love with someone else. You see the bride is my best friend and I have known her for a long-time, we were roommates so I knew all her boy story and boy dramas, and one thing I definitely knew was that weeks before her wedding she confided in me about how she honestly felt like she was in-love with someone else, one of her exes and now she was getting married to her boyfriend of a year. When I asked days before the wedding, about why she was going through with the wedding, she said “because he comes from a good family”. The faux-mance and wedding got me thinking about marriage, true love, and life.

As far as I can remember, I have never been a big fan of marriage. But as I got older, I got over this hate and just fell in love with the idea of being with someone I was absolutely in love with. However, I find that more women are getting married for many reasons other than love. More and More girls are getting married because it is “something to do” while others are doing it for social and financial security. Whatever the reason is, it has little to do with loving the person.

This is not just girls but guys as well. I have a guy friend that keeps asking me to hook him up with a girlfriend of mine, he is so desperate to get married that he has even asked me, although am sure he got the hint when I could not stop laughing. I mean what happened to falling in love with an individual and not being occupied with analyzing how much of a husband material he is. I mean how can your heart listen when your head is busy telling it what to do.

I don’t know when it started but marriage and what it means to be married has been watered down over the years. Men want “wifey” material, but after they get it, they get bored and cheat, and then women want “husband” material but when he loses his “manliness” for whatever reason over the years, they get bored and cheat, or sometimes just ignore him completely while they go on and join their different social functions.

Sometimes I blame it on dating and this liberal ways of looking at relationships. You know, where “you try it before you buy it” mentality. I’ve always hated dating because I believe that people are never being themselves, instead they are just who you want them to be, then once the “deal is done”, their inner demons come out. I remember watching this documentary, and in it the lady (Indian) kept talking about how she was happy that her marriage was arranged because everyday with her husband was fun because they had little expectations and everyday they learned more about each other because they already had committed to becoming life partners. I just remember thinking that I wanted something like that, a relationship where my partner feels like he can be himself and I can be mine without any expectations from both end.

I know my views might be somewhat different, but I just believe that you should marry someone you can grow to love everyday. I don’t necessarily know how you measure love, but I know its not how deep a man’s pocket is, or how handsome he is, or how popular or any of that fake stuff. I just know that the criteria for my life partner will not be how DEEP his pocket is, instead how BIG his HEART is.

I want a man that will massage my foot when am pregnant, or will wake up in the middle of the night because the baby is crying and I have not slept for a while. I want a husband that will make breakfast when I have not made it. I want a man that will make me laugh, and want to share every experience of life with me, and not hide anything from me. I want a man that is not afraid to be weak around me, a man that can bravely fall so I can catch him. I want a man that will be an ambassador of peace in our household; meaning that when am HOT he’s cold, he won’t fight fire with fire. I want a man that believes in personal development as much as I do, and won’t remain stagnant in his relationship with self, God and the universe. But most importantly I want a man I can grow old with, A man that will sit in the reclining chair with me and watch our grand children playing. This is what I believe marriage should be about, a partnership of souls, not families or bank accounts.

And I honestly believe that he will be given to me, and if he’s not, then that’s okay. I just need to learn to focus on something else, no need walking down the aisle when my heart belongs to someone else.